A Midline Crisis

They're like two weird alien life forms from the latest Doctor Who set, our beehives are up and ready to go. The boys are about to attend their weekend beekeeping course and things are really buzzing. Robert was bought a new copper smoker by Roy for his 21st birthday and is also in possession of some beekeeping gloves. Where this will all end I have no idea.

A smoker is effectively a tin, bit like the old fashioned oil tin rural garages used to pour oil into your engine, which is attached to a small pair of bellows. Old cardboard is shoved inside and set alight, the top is closed and the thing smoulders away producing loads of smoke which when puffed over the bees makes the little bastards sleepy, the beekeeper can then play around with his hives and not be at such risk of being stung.

This venture is nothing to do with me, however I have a morbid interest in seeing who gets stung first and if they start crying or give up pleading allergy to pain.

I was stung first as a young child when a bee flew up the leg of my shorts......regular readers of this journal wont be surprised to know that it was my scrotum, to which I later became a martyr, that took the stinger right on the midline, worse still was the indignity of my mother holding me down while her friend tried to scrape the sting out with her talon like fingernail, succeeding only in grazing a length of skin off. I believe the woman was actually drunk when let loose on my knackers, my mother used to ply people with drink before charging them 2/6 to read their tealeaves. I never actually found out how to read tealeaves, but distinctly remember when listening at the door how there always seemed to be a stranger involved. It was said she had the 'second sight' and I once asked her if she had (the 'gift' as she called it) she could get the football results and we'd be rich......I got a wallop as I recall.......Of course not having seen it coming means I obviously never inherited her gift.

Good luck to the bee-boys and if your impressed by our beehives which can be simply used for ornamental purposes or for actual beekeeping then you might like to call Orchard beehives on 07843 993882 and ask for Les.


PLANTSMANS CORNER will be opening on the 1st and 3rd sundays April to October;

2010 OPENING DAYS;
April 4th & 18th;
May 2nd & 16th;
June 6th & 20th;
July 4th & 18th;
August 1st & 15th
September 5th & 19th
October 3rd & 17th

You can also visit by appointment on a Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, and to collect plants.